Friday, April 15, 2011

10 days out!

Ah, England... I luvs ya. Just overheard, walking down the street to lunch with my girlfriends:

Woman: Hiya! You all right?
Man: Yeah, smashing, thanks. You?
Woman: All right, yeah, nice Easter?
Man: Sorry, again?
Woman: Did you have a nice Easter?
Man: Well, it hasn't happened yet, has it?
Woman: Right, of course not! Well, cheers then!
Man: Cheers!

Sigh... yes, sometimes I just find myself transmogrified into a scene from Notting Hill. Easter, Pesach, they're all approaching, spring continues to... well, spring here in Bath, and guess who's bloomin' large!? That's right, we're about 10 days out from Baby Boy Rothman's due date. I had my (perhaps) last midwife appointment on Monday and girlfriend told me that the baby's head is 3/5 engaged (just like Jeff and I were for about a year, right?) so to pack my bags and make a contingency plan for Josie!

Luckily, Nom arrives on Sunday, so the plan is just to walk around with my knees locked until then. Truthfully, I am feeling pretty well-cooked at this point. Not that it hasn't been beautiful and enlightening in many ways. With this pregnancy I've discovered all sorts of fun new secrets. For instance, hormone surges combined with constant rain makes for super-lustrous hair. Morning sickness is best alleviated by bacon, avocado, and cheddar-onion potato chip sandwiches. Best of all: when your calves are puffed to twice their natural size, you no longer need to shave your legs!

With my fellow Bathian Preg-Os

Jeff and I just completed our Antenatal Class (what birth classes are called here) where we learned about fantastic pain relief options like massage techniques, acupressure, and hynobirthing – all of which I plan to ponder in my heart while screaming for my epidural. You can take the girl out of New York, but... But seriously, it was fun watching these first-time parents ask at which point in the first phase of labor having your partner press his thumbs into your sacrum would be most effective. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that the only things getting thumb-pressed at that point would be a recalcitrant anaesthesiologist's gonads.

Meanwhile, the Gleesome Threesome have been out at every opportunity enjoying the gorgeous weather. We returned last weekend to Bowood, one of our favorite nearby nature spots, where Josie spent approximately 4.5 hours bouncing on the "champerline."

Everyone's up and Jumpin', Josie!

Where, you might ask, does Miss Thing get such grace and agility? We too wondered – certainly not from either the St. Mary's Knights JV Basketball's Most Improved Player OR the Guy Who Broke His Wrist Doing the Caterpillar at Jody Weinstein's Bat Mitzvah – until we trotted up to the Royal High School for Girls last week for "Ballet Watch." For those of you who don't know, Josie dons pink a tutu and slippers every Thursday to learn the regal art of classic dance – we had no clue just how artful until we battled two dozen other parents for front seats in Miss Debby's Dance Studio. All I can say is: Martha Graham, when we get back to New York, we'll be tracking you down!



And of course, the other event all of England is anticipating, the Royal Wedding of William and Waity Katie, is going down next week! I'm still taking orders for tea towels and commemorative tins, so please shout (or just post) if you'd like one! And pleeeease cross every finger and toe you've got that BBR doesn't decide to bide his time and arrive on April 29. How cruel and injust would that be to the most loyallest royalist born and bred in Port Huron, MI? I have to say, at times I can't decide which I'm more excited to do: birth BBR or give Josie her Royal Wedding Happyland Playset with which to play along during the wedding!

Of course, the bloke who sold it to me said, "Right, I think this is the one you've want, it's Wills, and Kate, the queen and what's-his-name." Indignant, I stammered "it's Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh! You...you don't even deserve to be British!" He gave me the old "Americans...and their silly Royal obsession" eye-roll, then told me the set was half-off, which I was absolutely delighted to hear!

Well, by the time you next hear from me Waity Katie will be Princess Catherine, our intestinal tracts will be lined with matzoh meal, Nom will have bought out every antique store in Bath, and – hopefully – Baby Boy Rothman will have made his own royal entrance!

Happy Easter, Happy Pesach, and Happy Royal Wedding to all!